May 9, 2007 - The hearing

Just as I figured it would happened, Wednesday (today) was the day I went to disciplinary court. Everyday I’ve been in the window paying attention to the schedules of the police, only the three that are needed for this hearing really matter. As I’m standing in the narrow window my gut tells me to get ready, so instead of napping until dinner arrives I reread everything once again.

After dinner I’m taken to the “Shift Commanders Office” and told to sit down next to Lt. Raines. The Hearing Officer, Sgt. English, starts reading the disciplinary and asking me am I inmate Gary Hart, 246445X (the “X” signifies life without parole), Black , Male … I’m looking at this man like please come on with it cause there is no need to be so damn formal. Sgt. English starts with the insubordination charge, not the correct order in which things happened and I know he’ll get confused.

Lt. Raines recites his version of the events and concludes with “Don’t put your hands on me Joe Raines”. I never called his name when I said that. But I’m not tripping on his mistakes or lies and enjoy the process, it’s been over seven years since I’ve had to be in disciplinary court. In walks Sgt. Gaines after being called on the radio and something ain’t right.

Sgt. Gaines won’t look me in the face, but that could mean he doesn’t wanna show that he’s on my side. Wrong again !! The minute he opens his mouth I’m looking at Clarence Thomas, I didn’t know this man could studder. The Sgt. nearly mirrors the Lt.’s statement and I’m left wondering if he was mistaken due to hearing that version many times or has he lied to keep me from embarrassing his boss.

Next up is Officer Bennett who has watched too many politicians, because all he says to my questions is “I don’t recollect, I can’t recall” and that what he does remember is from hearing other officers talk about it. Suddenly the fog clears from my path and is replaced with anger, obviously I‘ve bamboozled myself, too many days fantasizing in the law library has made me forget how real justice is done all over the world.

The Lt. and I are told to wait in the hall while Sgt. English makes his decision. Punishment is already known cause he told me that if I plead guilty or get found guilty I’d get 45 days lost of privileges, I did not hesitate to say not guilty because I’ll be damn if I ever plead guilty for the same punishment that I’ll get for fighting the charge. I’ve got nothing but time and pissing off the staff can be rather entertaining.

While waiting on the verdict the Lt. and I start talking about the incident and how he’s mistaken about what he said. As this exchange was intensifying I realized he won’t admit he’s wrong, so I let it be. Soon we’re called back in the room and Sgt. English said I’m guilty and punishment is 45 days lost of stare, visit and phone. I’m cool with that until the asshole said that he’s certain Lt. Raines would not lie on me and if the Lt. thought he was wrong I never would be here today – especially with two disciplinaries. Keep in mind that he was saying this about a man who’s been involved in so many excessive force claims that he was a Captain once and every time he got rank it was snatched away again and again. If Lt. Raines had told the truth on those incidents, he’d be working elsewhere.

For the charge of disobeying a direct order I decide not call Sgt. Gaines or Officer Bennett. They’ll only repeat their lies. As usual the truth is meaningless when determining guilt and innocence. My statement was read by the hearing officer and he dismissed my reasoning and found me guilty. After the first hearing I clearly know what to expect, so I’m not as emotional. In fact, I’m smiling and tell Lt. Raines and Sgt. English that they got me and taught me a lesson. When I told them the lesson was once a disciplinary is written the inmate is already dead cause the truth is meaningless they didn’t like that.

The sentence for the 2nd charge is 20 days in the doghouse. No, not a real doghouse but I’ll be moved to a row of cell that’s known as the doghouse where the inmates aren’t allowed radios, newspapers, magazines and such. My 45 days will also start once I’m moved to the doghouse. Some years back inmates in the doghouse were fed only twice a day and no desserts, plus their mattresses were removed from the cells at 7:00 am and returned at 5:00 pm.

I’ll appeal both disciplinaries to the warden for two reasons. 1) Sgt. English was clearly biased against me based on his misguided assumption that Lt. Raines would not lie. (20 years of friendship my ass, even the Pope lies sometimes – especially when he tells parents they have a beautiful baby when he knows that rascal looks like Gaullum from the Lord of the Rings). 2) Both disciplinaries have the same number for their tracking system.

Maybe I’ll win and at least get one off my record. I have nothing to lose for trying cause they’ve already bust my head. Oh, I likely won’t reach the doghouse for a week or two, but I’ll complain about that cause the sooner I’m finish with that I could leave segregation.

May 8, 2007

Today they finally allowed me to use the phone, but with everyone else. When we come to seg. they are supposed to give us a five minute phone call within 36 hours, if you have not noticed I’ve done 144 hours. Rules mean nothing if they aren’t enforced, and as usual they enforce the rules that benefit them and harm us.

I’ve spent the last few days preparing my defence. The truth is all I have and I’ll call the Sgt. as a witness and officer Bennet who had the entrance door to the kitchen that day. I feel that I can beat the disobeying a direct order charge, but that insubordination charge is likely to stick.

Why? They consider insubordination to be any act, gesture, remark or statement which obviously reflects disrespect to lawful authority. Yes, I’ve read their rules so many times that I’ve nearly memorized them. Why is beyond me, because I know they will twist and do their will in kangaroo court. Oh, I know why, it’s always best to know who, what, when, where and how we’re being screwed in this world.

May 5, 2007 - Racism

Whenever someone comes into seg. everyone wants to know who they are and what they did. Well, I’m no different except that everyone seems surprised that I’m here, police and inmates. Once I reveal the charges and describe the incident they really can’t believe it, not because they think I don’t violate the rules but they know the charges are ridiculous and that Lt. Raines is not seen as a friend to a Black man.

Yes, there was definitely racism involved cause he wouldn’t have thought twice if he’d seen me standing near some the white officers that usually have the main hall or if there hadn’t been a new white woman in central. Racism isn’t an illusion, it just manifests itself in ways that most black and white people are unable to detect, blame that on miseducation.

May 4, 2207

This morning I watched an inmate go home and seeing his freedom being returned to him has me thinking of my quest for freedom. Over 17.5 years for me to go from a death sentence to a life without the possibility of parole sentence, at this rate I’ll be at least 50 before I’m free.

One of the reasons I’m upset about being in seg. Is I’m not able to use the phone like I need to at this time. The law firm that has represented me since ’92 is dissolving May 31st and I need the phone in order to figure out who’ll be my lawyer, that’s if another firm can be convinced to accept my case pro bono (free). The lawyers will be scattered here and there so hopefully one of my current attorneys can convince their new firms to accept my case. Problems like his give me reason to worry, but one can’t overlook the positives that can come from this. One could be that new lawyers may finally find what is needed to overturn my conviction and another is that the peril of being without lawyers has spurred me to learn more about the law in case the day comes when I’m without lawyers.

May 3, 2007

I'm still dazed and confused from the events of the day before. How can I end up in "lock up" for simply trying to get my legal mail? The papers I got last night said I'll be charged with "disobeying a direct order and insubordination", but my problems pale in comparison to what I'm witnessing outside my cell window. Today is the execution day of Aaron Jones and I'm watching his family visit for the last time, plus all the state officials coming to do their "duty" of seeing to it he's dead.

Another reminder of how I’m in seg. Without good reason and that my problems are minor is there was a stabbing in population today. I heard the victim was stabbed about ten times and that someone had to stop the guy from killing him. The guy who used the knife has been cutting on people for over a decade and when I passed his cell on the way o the shower he was smiling as if he had accomplished something. The victim is fighting for his life in a free world hospital, I’m sure he’ll survive cause he’s use to fighting – rarely a day goes by that he’s not in the law library trying to give the state back his life without parole sentence so he can return to his beautiful family.

It’s sad but true, whether murder or an attempted murder most inhabitants of this prison could careless. I suppose that’s because everyone knows life is very cheap in Holman prison.

May 2, 2007 - From population to segregation

It started as just another day, but ended as one that I'll replay in my mind forever. I went to work in the law library (law clerk) from 7:30 - 11:00. During lunch I was glad to pick up my supply of medicine from the clinic, possessing those pills will keep me from standing in line everyday to get them, one hour of my day has just been returned to me. The only thing that's on my mind is getting a shower and some sleep; I've been up since 4:45 (breakfast).

The moment I extend my foot toward the water it is cut off. One of the guys already soaped up accuses me of being an evil spirit that caused the heavenly waters to vanish. Through some investigation we find out that maintenance is removing the showers, sinks, toilets and all pipes in another dorm. Just like the water was turned off to every outlet in population without notice it was turned on after about 30 minutes, essentially ending my reign as Lucifer. Not knowing what will happen next I quickly shower and dive in the bed, it's around 1:00 pm.

Awakened at 3:50 pm by a bump on the bunk. I notice the dorm is very alive and the bumper is pointing at the officer in our dorm, not having on my glasses I can only guess at what the officer is pointing at. I make the long stiff walk to the officer and he says, "Get ready and I'll release you to get your legal mail in five minutes". Oh, he must have been pointing to the names on the mail list. As, I brush my teeth and freshen up I'm thinking about not getting any regular mail and how tired I must've been to sleep so long and deep.

By 3:55 I'm out of the dorm and making my way to the mail window. The big yard is open and guys are already on the basketball court, so my team will play a game that was scheduled for yesterday. Anything can delay games, especially when the big yard isn't opened up for days. All the movement of people in population reminds me of an anthill, men coming and going through various openings and just because the line of ants is broken doesn't mean that's the end of that line, see here they come following the same scent trail.

When I arrive at the mail window there is another inmate waiting. I ask him has he knocked on the window, it's not a glass window but is wooden, and his reply was, "Sgt. is going to do it". This fellow is over 60 years old and suffers from severe hearing lost - even has one hearing aid, so I'm not sure if he heard me correctly. I look around and spot Sgt. Gaines then point him out to the other inmate, the old fellow says, "He's over there running his mouth". We both laugh and continue to watch Sgt. Gaines until he is out of sight, he returns after a few minutes to tell us that the mail lady is gone. The old man has the good sense to ball up his winkled face and head to chow.

I ask the Sgt., "You mean to tell me I was waked up and I'm still not getting my legal mail". Sgt. Gaines asks, "Who woke you up?" I say, "The officer in my dorm and told me that in five minutes I could get my legal mail". The Sgt. says, "Hold up a minute and let me see something". Sgt. Gaines is trying to get another officer's attention who is in a cubicle to ask her about the whereabouts of the mail lady and he drifts about four feet away from me.

While I'm standing there gazing into the cubicle Lt. Raines appears to my right and asks why am I standing there. I reply that I'm trying to get my legal mail. The Lt. said, "Legal mail is down there", while pointing toward the mailroom. I said, "I know". Lt. Raines said again, "Legal mail is down there", and pointing again. That's when I said, "I know. I'm waiting on Sgt., he's handling it", while pointing at Sgt. Gaines.

Lt. Raines said, "You can't get legal mail right there". And I said, "Okay, don't worry about it", and was going to go eat (I actually was thinking I'd just come back once I finished eating). That's when Lt. Raines put his hand toward my chest and I reacted by leaning back and stepping back while saying, "Don't put your hands on me". He said, "Okay, come with me".

Next thing I know I'm being told to empty my pockets, remove my belt, turn around (after which I was frisked" and then lead to a one man cell. I'm held in that cell until after 12:00 am when I'm processed into segregation (seg.) and moved to a cell in the disciplinary segregation unit. The first cell was dirty with no mattress, but it was okay because I was able to talk with a few guys I know from death row. The second cell was so nasty that I spent three hours cleaning it with a bar of soap, a rag and a toothbrush on my hands and knees. The toilet had a layer of crud that was so thick and brown that I thought I'd vomit.

Dear Readers ...

Welcome to my blog !

I hope that you'll enjoy it enough to return and stay around long enough to know more about my life. This entry is the first in over a year because I did not have an outlet for my writings. The beginnings of the blog, dating back to '05, will be posted as soon as I can get it typed and mailed out of here, that will take a few more weeks cause it's in population while I'm in segregation. Oh, I began this blog to give people an insight into how my life would change by going from death row to adjusting to life in a regular prison population. Please stick around, I promise it will get better.

Peace,

Gary Hart
#243445
Holman 3700, L-56 Atmore, AL 36503 USA