July 10, 2007

12:25 am

It's been a full week and everyone has learned what sent me to jail and chastised my mistakes. Some of those opinions actually surprised me because I thought of these men as enlightened and to have them revealing a slave like mentality is new to me. Whatever happens to us standing up for ourselves as black men and/or convicts? Am I supposed to let anyone put their hands on me, especially when there isn't a justified reason?

A day or so after I reached pop. Officer Bennett saw me and wanted to talk, but I was moving too fast to give a damn. The next day he had the "pill call" window and as I got my medicine he went into his stich about he wasn't gonna lie for anyone. He thought that when I called him as a witness for my disciplinary hearings that I wanted him to lie for me. After letting him get it off his chest I did not hesitate to inform Officer Bennett that he was dead wrong, that I only wanted him to tell the truth about what he saw and heard. He kept going about how he doesn't lie for anyone, including his co-workers, and I just looked at him like he was an imbecile. Anyone who knows Bennett should already know that he's a self righteous police, a Bible Thumping Ass kisser of his superiors.

It seems like things have changed since I've been gone, but in reality not much has. I was placed in the same dorm I left, a good thing because I thought I'd have to maneuver to get back here. I had planned for such cause I didn't want to get use to living and sleeping around another 113 men, at least now I'm familiar with the majority of the dorm. I even know most of the new faces in the dorm from seg., the jail birds are flying together again.

Officially I'm still assigned to my job as a law clerk in the law library, but they have hired three new clerks and ever fired one of my co-workers so there isn't a need for me. The supervisor of the law library told me while in seg. that I was going back in there and I said that I wasn't. Why? He hired a guy who's a rat/snitch, snitches are everywhere but having to work with one that runs to the police like a child runs to tell on their siblings is beyond something I can handle. I don't want my name in front of the police like that because they treat us different based on our reputations. Hopefully, the supervisor won't force things, but if he does I believe I can talk my way out of it with the warden because in less than one year I've logged more hours at my job than most others have in five years. Oh, it helps that it was the warden who actually hired me.

Same dorm and same job. But nothing can replace the wasted time and one opportunity that's lost, the leather shop. I'd been waiting for the chance to submit an application to get into the leather shop since I reached pop. in February of 2006 and by going to jail I missed out. Currently I'm begging the officer in charge of the Hobby Craft Program to let me in, something that would be a minor miracle if allowed because you must have a record clear of disciplinary infractions for at least six months and $200. Guess which one I'm lacking. The money is required cause they don't want to approve anyone who can't afford to order supplies, making leather goods takes money but can still be profitable.